to get me through the next 13.5 gray office-days until sundance (i.e. maggie, family, mountains that aren't made of concrete, and oh yes, toni), i am listening to pandora, more specifically a Christ Church College choir 'o come, o come emmanuel' station on pandora. not only do peaceful medeival Christmas tunes sung by british boys help me feel how little time is actually left before the holiday and all its splendor, it also reminds me that i once lived here.....01 December 2009
venite adoramus
to get me through the next 13.5 gray office-days until sundance (i.e. maggie, family, mountains that aren't made of concrete, and oh yes, toni), i am listening to pandora, more specifically a Christ Church College choir 'o come, o come emmanuel' station on pandora. not only do peaceful medeival Christmas tunes sung by british boys help me feel how little time is actually left before the holiday and all its splendor, it also reminds me that i once lived here.....how many times can i mention valerie hudson on my blog?
so - today was utterly dull at work. thus i read and read and read some more.
two things must be shared: foreign policy's first annual list of the top 100 global thinkers. while most of the list is absurd, valerie hudson is listed at number 97! AMAZING! so proud!
so proud not only for mama hudson, but for the cause of women. you must read this too. look at the pictures if you can, but do be aware that they are shockingly hard to view. anyone who says that feminism is no longer relevant, and argues against specific programs which help alleviate the uniquely brutal forms of suffering women of the world face, must gaze at the pakistani women in these photos.
thanks to foreign policy for recognizing that the work and research of a brave and amazing mother of 8 in provo, utah is not on the fringe or of special interest, but is actually some of the most relevant and potentially earth-shattering work of all. i sincerely believe that valerie and the work she inspires do make ripples through the world, and will ultimately lead to more equitable societies where girls and women are no longer treated as worthless objects of exchange and abuse. (even if it may be such a slow slow road to such a world...)
the point is, even though the horrors of this article on pakistani acid attacks are excruciating to view and swallow, at least there is now an ever-growing cohort of people speaking out against it, and dedicating their lives and work and all efforts to helping ensure such gender-based violence does not continue unchecked. and valerie is responsible for so much of that. so thanks, mama hudson :) you're my hero.
20 November 2009
i have officially arrived.
my day started very early with a much needed boot buffing at the grand central terminal shoe-shiner stand. yes, like back in the 1930s. they're still there. so it was me, plus 6 very well-heeled and spiffy businessmen. needless to say i did not fit in AT ALL - however, i feel this was an omen for the rest of the day, in which i actually felt like a real, official, working person of very, very minor importance.
you see, it's the 20th anniversary of the convention on the rights of the child, the most widely ratified treaty in existence (only the US and somalia have not signed on - how often are those two countries put in the same category?). in commemoration, UNICEF is of course hosting a plethora of art exhibitions and events and all sorts of loveliness. lucy liu was here yesterday. (i didn't see her.)
but today! it was the official commemoration, held in the main UN building, with ban ki-moon chairing and speaking. a few co-workers and i walked across 1st avenue to the sectariat, placed our little badges on all the security devices to open all the doors and barriers between the street and the interior vaults of the united nations. that alone made me feel worthy of sitting there getting my boots shined with investment bankers and the like.
the event itself was mixed: i have to say... ban ki-moon? hm. the most non-charismatic, quiet, and low-key person in power i've ever seen. he very quietly came into the chamber, gave a very very plain almost wikipedia-like speech on how the CRC is important, and then quietly exited out the side door. now maybe this is a good thing? that he's not super pompous and self-aggrandizing? but really - i'd like to see SOME conviction in what he's saying. we are talking about human rights violations against children here. could there be a more important topic?
but on the up side, the event also had multiple youth activists from around the world give little speeches, which were heart-breakingly moving and inspiring. kids in their teens who have come from kenyan slums and brazilian flavelas and actually mobilized change in their community and who pleaded for everyone in the room to not only talk about violence against children, child labor, trafficking, early marriage etc - but actually DO something. they should be at every meeting. to keep us from getting dull in our commitments and forgetting that these things have profound meaning.
oh, and did i mention that i actually had to sport the classic UN-ear-translator during various speeches given in languages i don't speak? yup. amazing.
it was actually a fantastic day, one in which i felt proud to work where i work, and one in which i felt inspired to pick myself up and be more impassioned in completing assignments which could potentially change the lives of children. (if even in a very, very minute way.)
and to close, a picture of new, darling little maggie, held by dear friend
and honorary aunt brittany for your enjoyment (sorry i don't have a close-up!) :
(p.s... are my blogposts too lengthy? too many words? also - are they too self-aggrandizing? is that the point of a blog? do i need to take a lesson from ban ki-moon? in any and all cases, sorry - please tell me if you could care less about any of this stuff and i'll shorten. <3)
19 November 2009
so remember when i went to boston to visit lindz? and looked like a total dork?
18 November 2009
welcome, dearest little maggie!
melanie burk, a friend as close to me as a sister, had a blessed little baby girl tonight. what can i say to convey how much emotion i feel? melanie is so dear to me, and i am overwhelmed with gratitude for her, for her precious new maggie, for other dearest dear friends brittany and sara who provided untold support to melanie throughout the labor today, to dan for being such a perfect husband for her, and to Heavenly Father for entrusting us with the wondrous miracle of childbirth and families.
at work today, knowing melanie was in labor, i could hardly concentrate. when i got home, as she was reaching the eleventh hour, i could NOT contain my excitement. i had to DO something... so i cooked. and cooked and cooked... i poached pears, i created home-made creme fraiche... i baked pumpkin bread, i kneaded a loaf of whole wheat bread, i made red pepper soup... and as i sat on my couch, eating the pears over spoonfuls of greek yogurt (AMAZING), gazing out my window at the nighttime scene on broadway - at all the other apartment buildings, i couldn't help but think of all the other families and lives and babies that have been born and will be born that will occupy just this little stretch of upper manhattan - how eternal and amazing and wondrous it all is...
at work i'm confronted too often with the sorrow that results in childbirth and families torn apart. fistula and maternal mortality and abandoned children, and a higher degree of sadness and tragedy than should ever be known in mortality. so to know melanie safely gave birth today, with a hoard of loved ones supporting her as she went through it, to know that little maggie will now have a loving home to grow up in, it's just too huge a blessing and miracle to not sit and pause and reflect on.
all my thoughts and love go out to melanie and her new little family tonight! i'm so proud! :)
12 November 2009
all the cool kids are doing it.
http://supportwri.blogspot.com/
to anyone who has not received this petition yet, please sign it, and please tell your friends. this is a very constructive response to the WRI's closing. join us all to keep women's studies alive at BYU! we don't want it to go the way of social work, african studies, and international development... BYU is more than the marriott school!
10 November 2009
today would be a good day to hug sadie.
the movie documents the lives of 5 of the 20,000+ street children in romania, a result of the anti-contraception policies of former communist leader nicolae ceausescu. as many of you know, orphanages in romania were overflooded, and now as the children are growing up, nearly all have simply taken to the streets and live a completely tragic life of drug abuse, physical violence, neglect, and starvation.
i have seen many a tragic movie in my day - i know i'm uniquely drawn to them. but this may have been the worst. perhaps it's because i now deal with children's issues for a living that it all particularly hit home.
today at work i'm writing up a text for unicef on civil society groups in mozambique, how unicef can better work with these groups to help protect children and secure their rights. this assignment is also particularly hitting home because of the summer i spent in mozambique five years ago, working with kids at the colegio infantil, and seeing first hand how widespread abuse and neglect of children is in mozambican communities torn apart by civil war and poverty.
the point of the text i'm writing is to argue that engaging with governments will never be enough, especially for children. a child is completely vulnerable to his/her family and community. national legislation or even state-run programs have little sustained impact on the lives of children. not compared to home-grown change in communities. in children underground you see how social workers fought to improve the lives of the romanian street kids - but ultimately they could do so little. the kids needed homes, families, people who loved them consistently and gave them daily support. i applaud the social workers and their indefatigable efforts, but after watching this documentary in addition to my own experiences with battered children (in the US and abroad), it is so obvious that external programs can only reach so far.
the problem is i'm writing this text for unicef in response to the donor community at large, which simply wants little to nothing to do with civil society (meaning community groups, churches, NGOs, etc.). donors want to work with governments, and this is where they will put billions of dollars into. perhaps it's good to leave civil society groups outside of the corruptible aid-machine, but at least there needs to be further recognition that it is only in the grassroots that children are actually protected. local groups need support from unicef and others to develop their capacity to affect change, which i know they can do better than almost anyone else. i want local action to be supported - and i'm happy unicef does actually stress this as much as it can.
sigh. sorry for the long, downer post. posting helps me release a bit, and these things are critical and need to be talked about... it just absolutely breaks my heart when i see films like children underground, or come into work and try to politically argue for the protection of kids i knew and worked with - ah, just to see families torn apart and children left scattered and abused. it's all too much.
but just remember to hug your kids a lot - even though i know all of you do :) they're all so lucky to have such love in their lives. so huzzah for that! and here's a scrumptious picture of moe and sadie just to make everything feel all better :)
05 November 2009
so proud.

if you have a moment, please read this wonderful post an old co-worker of mine from the womanstats project wrote. it expresses so many of my same feelings. this is all so important to me, and i'm sad to be far away and swamped in unicef work. but i'm happy the call has gone forth and the response has been so strong! it shows how critical this issue is, and how deeply so many care about it. which is fantastic news. (as an aside - some of the bloggers etc. have taken this to an erroneous level, however, that i very much disagree with. this decision does not negate the doctrines of our church. remember, the WRI was founded by apostles. and i agree with what elliott wrote in the comment below, that this is in many ways a reflection of the short-sighted action of a handful of professors. it still needs to be protested, but i sincerely hope it does not cause undue wrath. passion, yes, but thoughtful, intelligent passion.)
also! i have to mention quickly the golden moment of my week: last winter i was asked by some lawyers here in new york to write an expert affidavit for a nigerien woman who was seeking asylum in the US from her family who would force her to undergo FGM and forced marriage upon return to niger. i met with the woman and the lawyers many times, wrote my bit, and found out yesterday that her asylum is now granted! huzzah! she's safely installed in new york, under the care of catholic relief services, and her life is truly beginning.
so it is a good week for women after all :)
02 November 2009
feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
i can't shake this - and i had to share/vent/cry: a few hours ago i received the news that my first alma mater, byu, is shutting down the women's research institute (WRI), which just celebrated it's 30-year anniversary after its founding by apostles dallin h. oaks and jeffrey r. holland. (bless them.)i'm totally devastated, and my utter disappointment in byu has only been amplified. byu has already shown zero support for african studies - they shut down the international development major, and now this!
remember this article from nick kristof on how critical it is to support women for poverty reduction and general social benefit? and how important it is to acknowledge that women are grossly and disproportionately maltreated and mutilated and abused - the majority of their perpetrators met only with impunity? his article only gave a prominent voice to research and truths that many of us have been saying for decades, and that the faculty at the WRI tried to project to BYU's (often narrow-minded) campus.
the WRI gave me a grant to go to syria to do research on women. they housed the womanstats database project i worked on for 2 years. but most critical of all, they gave an actual voice and call to the world that byu was concerned about women, understood that their problems were critical, and should not be shelved as "special interest."
and now? oh byu - you're steadily making me lose hope in you completely.

these pictures are from the glory days: my last semester sara, thelms, brittany, ali, and i mounted a grand domestic violence advocacy event on byu's campus for international women's day. we had to be so political in framing it to byu's administration, but we did it. and it was a great success. and mom and dad stopped by, and lincoln helped out TONS. sigh. i miss those days. i hope byu students will continue to carry the torch for women's rights! down with domestic violence! help us break the silence!
