one very long photo journey from rio to ilha grande to paraty! yay!

p.s...

sorry to just add more sorrow to the web... so i thought i would try to balance things out and say that if any one is looking for the all-too-rare super-legit-really-GOOD news these days, i will have just such a piece for you in just 2 weeks time! yay! i can hardly wait! :)

managing tragedies.

hello to the world! here i sit with wireless (!) at lua nova's downtown office in sorocaba, unfortunately one of the only options either toni or i can manage to have any connection to the outside world. we have no internet between us, and with this and that and this and oh that too happening around the world, it makes us feel so horribly cut off. with no internet, no phones that work internationally, and no tv, we just have our own little bubble of sorocaba/araçoiaba to deal with, wondering how everything and everyone else is coping...

it can be so disconcerting to feel so helpless AND far away with intermittent connection, but things get even more disconcerting when your own little bubble has it's unique little tragedies to manage as well. (as is the case for everyone, no? see: philo of alexandria quote to the right --->)

in my case, the tragedy is this mad organization. truly, lua nova is a train wreck. 4 girls have run away in the last month, one girl in particular who i was very close to, and the thought of the life that they have chosen instead of persevering through the halting care at lua nova's shelter is heartbreaking and makes me worry beyond measure. where are they? what are they doing? how are they surviving?

it's just so awful to see how much the girls - the very community lua nova is supposed to be surviving - suffer from the huge weaknesses of this chaotic NGO.

alas.

in any case i'm off back into brazilian anonymity - one last visit this week to the girls out in araçoiaba before dipping further into anonymity for the next 5 days where my only goal is to show mom a good time down here in the tropics - heat and chaos notwithstanding :) yay! a visit from the outside! :)

até mais, pessoal!

beijos e abraços,
jooj.

*this is a picture of dear suellen, the girl who most recently ran away. bah! she is so great! oh! suellen, be safe wherever you are!

this breaks my heart...

such tragedies are just too much to take! i think everyone who reads this blog reads leslie's, but just in case you didn't see this about an old family friend, do consider helping!

beijos to you all.
jooj.

i didn't fully love brazil until i went to rio

and oh what a place it is! what contrasts and extremes! while the beauty is seriously beyond belief, i couldn't help but remember that back at work in aracoiaba were over 40 young moms who are recovering from the kind of drug-war-frenzied environment that are brazilian favelas - those rough communities you see climbing up the gorgeous green mountains from rio's perfect beaches. being in rio reminded me so much of being in cape town - you pinch yourself at how delicious the life can be! at how yummy the food is, how gorgeous is the architecture, and stunning beyond stunning is the landscape and history and culture, but then there are the cape flats. then there is cidade de deus.

not to say there is no beauty in the favela, and no horror in ipanema or leblon - it would be awful to say that they are these polar opposites with vicious residents in one and perfect residents in the other, of course the contrasts are more nuanced. but they are there for sure - constant and everywhere.

also constant and everywhere: absolute and full-blown celebration. ohmygoodness. i loved it. LOVED IT. not only is rio drop dead amazing on its own, but carnaval! what! never have i been in a place that embraced such pure and absolute enjoyment - all through 24hour dancing, parading, and singing in the streets. it was hilarious and crazy and so so fun (and safe, mind you!). i didn't want to leave!* how fab to see something else in brazil besides little sorocaba! so much to learn, so much to absorb!

oh rio oh rio... deixei a ti o meu coracao...

but enough talk. here are some videos of the carnaval street parties toni and i went to. keep in mind that the first video was taken at 8:30am saturday morning. the party is literally 24 hours. rain or shine. amazing.

*did i mention that mom comes here next tuesday?! and that we are going back to rio with her? oh heavens i am so spoiled. and can.not.wait!!!!

i don't know about you, but i want to meet sorocaba.

toni's computer died this last week (tragic!), and so he's been hanging lots around a little internet cafe in our neighborhood. i went there with him there the other night, and the guy behind the counter heard us speaking english... i left a bit early, and then when toni went up to pay, the following conversation (in broken english) ensued...

"are you american?"

"no, i'm german, but my girlfriend is american."

(in complete shock and disbelief) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SOROCABA?!? i want to TRAVEL! i want to see the world! I WANT TO MEET MANHATTAN."


ha. hahaha! oh haha. HA. finally someone gets it. hahhaa. oh sorocaba! what a funny place. little did this guy know that i virtually moved to sorocaba from manhattan. (via berlin, of course). oh hilarious.

still. as dull and frustrating and annoying and bureaucratic as life can be here in this town, at this blasted NGO, it does have one compelling reason for me to stay:

oh! i love these girls. all of that rest melts away when i'm working with them and their darling babies. um, isn't mariana gorgeous? and her baby aaaadoooorable?! ah!

happy weekend!

beijos,
jooj

despite the fact that my LAST post was about a holiday...

i promise i did work a bit in the meantime (full post dedicated to awesome new lua nova pics coming later today, maybs), but toni and i took another mini-cheap-little-holiday, this time to the beach...


ah... lovely, no? aren't we looking so happy on this beautiful, jungly, remote beach on the northern strip of an island off the brazilian coast? mmm.. i can taste the fresh maracuja juice now....

but wait wait wait - do you spy something fishy behind us?

let's look closer, shall we?...

oh yes. AWESOME. i told toni that if he dressed like that i too would snap some sassy photos of him. hehheheehehehe love.it.

newsssss

i was accepted into oxford's dphil (british way to say phd) history (of medicine) program(me) beginning fall of this year! YAY YAY YAY

one waiting game is over! (phew) yet three more remain in pending status....

toni has to be accepted.

i need to get funding.

toni has to get funding.


.....and if these three other things (miraculously) (truly, it would be miraculous) all happen, then in 7 short months toni and i will (once again) be cycling in narrow alleyways past ancient pubs like...

<----- this. (!!!)



aaaiii!!!!

toni i went to iguaçu falls! and argentina for a day!

in other words, it was GORGEOUS. and super hot. and jungly. and wet. and made us think constantly of "the mission."
but really pictures do no justice.
GOR.
GEOUS.

ohmygoodness really, thank you thank you

this week during our course for the girls at lua nova they had to draw their 'personal network.' people they can absolutely rely on in their lives. they drew two circles, one smaller inside the other, and put the names of people closest to them, those most reliable, in the center circle, then placing names of people further away as the circles went out...

i tell you this exercise tore me apart. the girls explained how difficult it was for them, more than one asking 'is it ok if i have no one?' ai ai ai... the majority of circles were just filled with mine and other lua nova staff's names.

at the very last session for this week we had a chef come in and speak with the girls. he grew up like them: on the streets, heavily involved in drug gangs, family nonexistent and abusive... but now he is a successful chef in sorocaba. at the end of his speech he told the girls so frankly: i do believe in you - you really can get out of these traps of drugs and homelessness and abuse. you really can make a new life for yourselves.

the girls were reduced to tears (which is saying a lot - they often hide behind a super tough attitude)... one of them came up and said to him afterward 'no one believes in me except lua nova. and now you.'

aaaah it just tore me apart, truly! there is so much at stake here: not only the lives of the girls but also those of their children. and the enemies are so huge, the friends so few...

i say all this because for a group of girls who have received so little love, attention, or care in this world, this:




is HUGE. this pile of goodness is all of the donations poured in from dozens of wonderful women in response to a call on my sister's blog for help for lua nova's girls. we received over 60 scrapbooks, each so carefully and beautifully made... gorgeous baby blankets, precious baby booties and burp cloths... baby clothes, art supplies, notebooks, you name it. when i flew back to brazil after Christmas i had with me over 100 pounds of luggage, solely comprised of gifts for the girls.

becuase we are in the middle of this 3-week training course, i haven't given any of the gifts yet: i am going to use them within my therapy and group sessions, which won't start again for another few weeks. but, i did show one of the scrapbooks to the staff at lua nova and they were floored. 'all made by hand?' 'one for EACH girl?!' 'and these women did this just because they wanted to help?'

so really, thak you thank you. i (and everyone at lua nova!) am so amazed at this generosity. i can't think of the time it took to complete each of these scrapbooks, blankets, booties etc... it is wonderful me the empathy of others! thank you thank you again. you are all true and beautiful friends to a group of girls who have so few people to count on in this world.

beijos and abracos to you all,
julianne.