toni i went to iguaçu falls! and argentina for a day!

in other words, it was GORGEOUS. and super hot. and jungly. and wet. and made us think constantly of "the mission."
but really pictures do no justice.
GOR.
GEOUS.

ohmygoodness really, thank you thank you

this week during our course for the girls at lua nova they had to draw their 'personal network.' people they can absolutely rely on in their lives. they drew two circles, one smaller inside the other, and put the names of people closest to them, those most reliable, in the center circle, then placing names of people further away as the circles went out...

i tell you this exercise tore me apart. the girls explained how difficult it was for them, more than one asking 'is it ok if i have no one?' ai ai ai... the majority of circles were just filled with mine and other lua nova staff's names.

at the very last session for this week we had a chef come in and speak with the girls. he grew up like them: on the streets, heavily involved in drug gangs, family nonexistent and abusive... but now he is a successful chef in sorocaba. at the end of his speech he told the girls so frankly: i do believe in you - you really can get out of these traps of drugs and homelessness and abuse. you really can make a new life for yourselves.

the girls were reduced to tears (which is saying a lot - they often hide behind a super tough attitude)... one of them came up and said to him afterward 'no one believes in me except lua nova. and now you.'

aaaah it just tore me apart, truly! there is so much at stake here: not only the lives of the girls but also those of their children. and the enemies are so huge, the friends so few...

i say all this because for a group of girls who have received so little love, attention, or care in this world, this:




is HUGE. this pile of goodness is all of the donations poured in from dozens of wonderful women in response to a call on my sister's blog for help for lua nova's girls. we received over 60 scrapbooks, each so carefully and beautifully made... gorgeous baby blankets, precious baby booties and burp cloths... baby clothes, art supplies, notebooks, you name it. when i flew back to brazil after Christmas i had with me over 100 pounds of luggage, solely comprised of gifts for the girls.

becuase we are in the middle of this 3-week training course, i haven't given any of the gifts yet: i am going to use them within my therapy and group sessions, which won't start again for another few weeks. but, i did show one of the scrapbooks to the staff at lua nova and they were floored. 'all made by hand?' 'one for EACH girl?!' 'and these women did this just because they wanted to help?'

so really, thak you thank you. i (and everyone at lua nova!) am so amazed at this generosity. i can't think of the time it took to complete each of these scrapbooks, blankets, booties etc... it is wonderful me the empathy of others! thank you thank you again. you are all true and beautiful friends to a group of girls who have so few people to count on in this world.

beijos and abracos to you all,
julianne.

3 things:

1. i was notified early this morning that i didn't get one of the scholarships i applied for to start my phd this fall. ah, shoot! 1 down, 3 more chances to go. i'm trying not to become too swallowed in fear of more negative results... :(

2. also trying not to get swallowed in the harsh stories and lives and difficult experiences in working at lua nova day by day. i forgot how much i learn, feel, experience here with these girls. i love them dearly. and their lives are so hard. and seeing the results of these broken systems of neglect and severe abuse... these girls who are forgotten, unwanted, and cast off from their communities is just too hard at times.... it's truly so hard to sleep at night after some of the days here!

(group shot of all lua nova's girls from our training this week - hahahahaha it makes me laugh! quite hard to get everyone to smile at the same time!)

3. i'm blogging over at "we are women" project these days! well rather i start blogging there on monday. will add my 2 cents the last monday of every month, should you care to read!



p.s. bonus 4. i'm really really happy toni is here with me now. the weekend will be lovely, so huzzah --> :)

matando saudades

long distance is awful. i have had to endure so much of it. but let me tell you: as awful as being apart is, reunions are quite possibly the most wonderful things ever. reuniting with the fam over Christmas was fantastic, seeing toni again in the sao paulo airport was blissful, and yesterday (finally!) seeing all my dear girls at lua nova was just so so happy. SO happy. the look of shock on their faces at seeing me again after so long was woooooonderful, as were the tight tight hugs that followed!

all i can think is what on earth am i going to do come may 31st when my time in brazil is up? ah! will i ever hear from these girls again? so unlikely. and too too sad to think about.

sigh. in the meantime, i have a good stretch of time to be with them yet. yay.

to give you an idea of who they are and what they look like, here is a little video the girls took yesterday with ashoka´s little flipcam while we were on lunch break from this intensive employment training course lua nova is putting on for them. i am holding a 3 week old baby of one of the residents - eek! so teeny and precious!

beijos to you all,

joojie.

o amor chegou bem :)

us with toni's casinha...

the view's not bad, eh?

ah, le sigh... HAPPY :)

11.1.11 -> redletter day indeed!

do you know what this day means to me?

it is officially the last day of my oh-much-too-long long-distance relationship with toni. once i pick up my dear german at the airport tomorrow, this last 4 1/2 month separation we've just endured is officially over, and lives of being in the same continent! country! city! actual neighborhood! begin.



yay :)


picture taken just weeks after meeting each other, on the day before our very first intercontinental separation - on 8-week term break at oxford. oh oxford!

il faut ter pacienca

like how i just mixed french and portuguese right there? yes, welcome to my brain.

oh! 2011 is indeed a new year! the last days in brazil have been wonderful. i have slowly but surely secured my place in brazil's heart it seems. my own experience of the last months - and backed up by several other foreigners-who-have-lived-in-brazil's testimonials as well - has taught me that the popular and positive stereotype of brazilians is true: yes indeed they are an incredibly generous, warm, and kind, kind people. that they are reliable and open, BUT...... not necessarily at first sight. my dear sorocabans greeted me in my first months here with a hearty helping of skepticism, and yet! now that i've been around for awhile and can speak portuguese, boom! it's like a light switch goes off and i am now part of this big happy family!*

huzzah! i'm part of it, gente! ah! it feels so good. perhaps it's just that my absence has made sorocaba more fond of me? in any case i've been waist-deep in trying to get this tiny little shed/house ready for toni before his arrival on wednesday, people around me have simply gone above and BEYOND in terms of helping me out. it just makes me want to cry to be absorbed in all this lovely and wholly unexpected kindness, and bodes so so well for the next 5 months here. even lua nova has been more kind and friendly and reliable! i mean really! everything has been so miraculously painless, whereas before... ha! you all already know! :)

oh.... hu.zzah.

*that being said: aren't all people basically like that? i hate washing my judgmental brush [even if positive] over all of brazil's 200+million residents from the hundred or so i've encountered in just one city. so take all of this with a grain of salt. love how i just completely contradicted myself in one post? rsrsrsrsrsrs :)

**also huzzah:


























hehehe! oooh! aaah! miss you allllllll.....

eu chegueiiiii

i'm here! i'm in sorocaba! and it's been raining a ton! so it's not as hot as i thought it would be! huzzah! my house has no water because a pipe broke! but my dear neighbor let me shower the long journey off of me! i finally received the fedex package from ashoka i had been expecting since october! a little flipcam to document my work at lua nova! i tested it out by showing you (finally) my little house and the view from the window of my room these last months! despite the fact that i'm moving out of this place in just a matter of days! i'm relearning portuguese and am suddenly speaking french again by accident! bouteille! garrafa! ah!

toni comes in less than a week!

i'm back in braaaaasillll!!!!! ai ai aiiiii!!!!!! :)

(i.e. it actually feels really good to be back, so huzzah for exclamation points!!!)

this is what a visit home looks like [the final installment]

doing homework after piano lessons...

and fighting lots of bad guys :)

le sigh.

back to brazil TODAY, gente!!!

so... remember that Christmas in 2010 when...

the sundance house was turned into an infirmary?

matthew and katie left early due to several severely ill children?

elliott and ginger and their entire 5 child brood were struck down by nasty, mysterious and pernicious viruses during their entire 10-day stay?

Christmas eve was spent in the ER?

mom full on broke her leg?

and dad totally screwed up his knee to the point of hardly walking?

and then! AND THEN! mom had surgery on her leg the day before elliott and ginger were meant to fly back to indiana, sick and all, but then the power went out in all of sundance and due to the MOTHER OF ALL SNOWSTORMS (take that east coast!) the roads were closed because of serious avalanche threat? and the power wouldn't be back until late the next day? and who on earth knows when the snow would ever stop and the avalanches would stop and the roads would be open?

so.. rather than freeze to death with five small children in a powerless mountain cabin, risk mom having some post-op emergency and not being able to get out, oh and of course elliott and ginger missing their flight, remember when we had the fire marshal personally escort all of us down the sundance mountain at 10pm, driving slowly and steadily, shining his big avalanche-checker-light up on the foreboding mountains on either side of us? driving over fallen, broken, trees to then go and spend the night in a hotel?

yup. all of that. OH MY GOODNESS THIS CHRISTMAS! i tell you. I TELL YOU! one mega series of unfortunate (nothing too life threatening thank heaven!) events indeed. IN.DEED.