3 things:

1. i was notified early this morning that i didn't get one of the scholarships i applied for to start my phd this fall. ah, shoot! 1 down, 3 more chances to go. i'm trying not to become too swallowed in fear of more negative results... :(

2. also trying not to get swallowed in the harsh stories and lives and difficult experiences in working at lua nova day by day. i forgot how much i learn, feel, experience here with these girls. i love them dearly. and their lives are so hard. and seeing the results of these broken systems of neglect and severe abuse... these girls who are forgotten, unwanted, and cast off from their communities is just too hard at times.... it's truly so hard to sleep at night after some of the days here!

(group shot of all lua nova's girls from our training this week - hahahahaha it makes me laugh! quite hard to get everyone to smile at the same time!)

3. i'm blogging over at "we are women" project these days! well rather i start blogging there on monday. will add my 2 cents the last monday of every month, should you care to read!



p.s. bonus 4. i'm really really happy toni is here with me now. the weekend will be lovely, so huzzah --> :)

matando saudades

long distance is awful. i have had to endure so much of it. but let me tell you: as awful as being apart is, reunions are quite possibly the most wonderful things ever. reuniting with the fam over Christmas was fantastic, seeing toni again in the sao paulo airport was blissful, and yesterday (finally!) seeing all my dear girls at lua nova was just so so happy. SO happy. the look of shock on their faces at seeing me again after so long was woooooonderful, as were the tight tight hugs that followed!

all i can think is what on earth am i going to do come may 31st when my time in brazil is up? ah! will i ever hear from these girls again? so unlikely. and too too sad to think about.

sigh. in the meantime, i have a good stretch of time to be with them yet. yay.

to give you an idea of who they are and what they look like, here is a little video the girls took yesterday with ashoka´s little flipcam while we were on lunch break from this intensive employment training course lua nova is putting on for them. i am holding a 3 week old baby of one of the residents - eek! so teeny and precious!

beijos to you all,

joojie.

o amor chegou bem :)

us with toni's casinha...

the view's not bad, eh?

ah, le sigh... HAPPY :)

11.1.11 -> redletter day indeed!

do you know what this day means to me?

it is officially the last day of my oh-much-too-long long-distance relationship with toni. once i pick up my dear german at the airport tomorrow, this last 4 1/2 month separation we've just endured is officially over, and lives of being in the same continent! country! city! actual neighborhood! begin.



yay :)


picture taken just weeks after meeting each other, on the day before our very first intercontinental separation - on 8-week term break at oxford. oh oxford!

il faut ter pacienca

like how i just mixed french and portuguese right there? yes, welcome to my brain.

oh! 2011 is indeed a new year! the last days in brazil have been wonderful. i have slowly but surely secured my place in brazil's heart it seems. my own experience of the last months - and backed up by several other foreigners-who-have-lived-in-brazil's testimonials as well - has taught me that the popular and positive stereotype of brazilians is true: yes indeed they are an incredibly generous, warm, and kind, kind people. that they are reliable and open, BUT...... not necessarily at first sight. my dear sorocabans greeted me in my first months here with a hearty helping of skepticism, and yet! now that i've been around for awhile and can speak portuguese, boom! it's like a light switch goes off and i am now part of this big happy family!*

huzzah! i'm part of it, gente! ah! it feels so good. perhaps it's just that my absence has made sorocaba more fond of me? in any case i've been waist-deep in trying to get this tiny little shed/house ready for toni before his arrival on wednesday, people around me have simply gone above and BEYOND in terms of helping me out. it just makes me want to cry to be absorbed in all this lovely and wholly unexpected kindness, and bodes so so well for the next 5 months here. even lua nova has been more kind and friendly and reliable! i mean really! everything has been so miraculously painless, whereas before... ha! you all already know! :)

oh.... hu.zzah.

*that being said: aren't all people basically like that? i hate washing my judgmental brush [even if positive] over all of brazil's 200+million residents from the hundred or so i've encountered in just one city. so take all of this with a grain of salt. love how i just completely contradicted myself in one post? rsrsrsrsrsrs :)

**also huzzah:


























hehehe! oooh! aaah! miss you allllllll.....

eu chegueiiiii

i'm here! i'm in sorocaba! and it's been raining a ton! so it's not as hot as i thought it would be! huzzah! my house has no water because a pipe broke! but my dear neighbor let me shower the long journey off of me! i finally received the fedex package from ashoka i had been expecting since october! a little flipcam to document my work at lua nova! i tested it out by showing you (finally) my little house and the view from the window of my room these last months! despite the fact that i'm moving out of this place in just a matter of days! i'm relearning portuguese and am suddenly speaking french again by accident! bouteille! garrafa! ah!

toni comes in less than a week!

i'm back in braaaaasillll!!!!! ai ai aiiiii!!!!!! :)

(i.e. it actually feels really good to be back, so huzzah for exclamation points!!!)

this is what a visit home looks like [the final installment]

doing homework after piano lessons...

and fighting lots of bad guys :)

le sigh.

back to brazil TODAY, gente!!!

so... remember that Christmas in 2010 when...

the sundance house was turned into an infirmary?

matthew and katie left early due to several severely ill children?

elliott and ginger and their entire 5 child brood were struck down by nasty, mysterious and pernicious viruses during their entire 10-day stay?

Christmas eve was spent in the ER?

mom full on broke her leg?

and dad totally screwed up his knee to the point of hardly walking?

and then! AND THEN! mom had surgery on her leg the day before elliott and ginger were meant to fly back to indiana, sick and all, but then the power went out in all of sundance and due to the MOTHER OF ALL SNOWSTORMS (take that east coast!) the roads were closed because of serious avalanche threat? and the power wouldn't be back until late the next day? and who on earth knows when the snow would ever stop and the avalanches would stop and the roads would be open?

so.. rather than freeze to death with five small children in a powerless mountain cabin, risk mom having some post-op emergency and not being able to get out, oh and of course elliott and ginger missing their flight, remember when we had the fire marshal personally escort all of us down the sundance mountain at 10pm, driving slowly and steadily, shining his big avalanche-checker-light up on the foreboding mountains on either side of us? driving over fallen, broken, trees to then go and spend the night in a hotel?

yup. all of that. OH MY GOODNESS THIS CHRISTMAS! i tell you. I TELL YOU! one mega series of unfortunate (nothing too life threatening thank heaven!) events indeed. IN.DEED.

this is what a visit home looks like [part II]

i.e... so.much.snow! so.much.cuteness! :)

this is what a visit home looks like

p.s. can you spot me in the photo above? omg moab is amazing!

(i'm on seeerious baby elliot withdrawals since saying goodbye to them all in arizona! oh! just look at how delicious he is!)