huzzah for the nouvelle routine

i love that moving to a new place requires creating new life-rituals: new shops, markets, walks, cafes, bakeries, transit-routes, galleries, modes of communication - all of these daily aspects of living must suddenly be re-crafted, re-discovered. it's so fantastic! my daily routine now no longer includes commuting crunches, gray cubicles, and the omnipresent missing of toni. instead it includes lovely things like walks along canals and cobblestoned-history-infused streets, cafe-sitting, and actually reading interesting books and articles for long, uninterrupted stretches at a time...

it also includes lots and lots of very productive research in the bowels of jstor and googlescholar for two separate upcoming projects (phd, and another one that i feel nervous talking about now until it develops further - super vague! but potentially super exciting!).

oh, and did i mention it includes quite a lot of this?:

again, allow me to breathe a contented sigh... i'm becoming more and more comfortable in my relaxed, self-determined days. who wouldn't be? i'm so dang lucky! life is so utterly sweet right now! this is the epitome of that rare privilege virginia woolf talked about in a room of one's own. i feel like i'm free to actually learn again, and am in general much more present and full and feel truly and utterly complete.

oh, and need i mention the best part of my routine? the cherry on top of all of this new-found engagement with daily life is that around 6:30pm toni comes home from work and we have the rest of the evening to spend together in any way we please. have i mentioned how glorious this is? the switch from long-distance to no-distance is ______ [please fill in the blank with any and all hyperbolic exlamatory words of happiness and contentment :)]*


will post more soon, with actual pictures of my neighborhood and such. in the meantime... skype date anyone? (i'm 9 hours ahead of the west, 8 hours ahead of the mountains, and 6 hours ahead of the east. just fyi :)**


*i'm sorry for gushing so much. my blog has turned into an idyllic-fest! ha! it's all still quite new, so thanks for bearing with all my uber-excitement.
**edited to include texans! sorry for the oversight! yes, 7 hours ahead of the lone-star state!

from kindness to kindness

enfin! i have unpacked my room in its entirety... would you like to see? of course you do!

isn't it huge?! and sunny? and comfy and gorgeous?! ja ja, ja, and ja! you see, i'm subletting this room until the end of august, meaning it came fully equipped and furnished- you can see the corner of the bed on the right, and even a mini-tv should i ever choose to indulge in the delight that is german television [please click on that link and watch that video again. OMG.]

but my favorite is this lovely armchair in which i can sit and enjoy a leisurely morning of tea with john tavener on Q2 radio streamed from new york....

.....gazing up at my beautiful tulips (fresh ones that toni lovingly bestowed on me to keep me company as he spends these 3 days at a work conference in mainz)....

......on my beautiful desk....

....enjoying my favorite chocolate, which fyi is about $2.50 for this monster bar (more than double the size of normal ritter sport squares that ran $4 in new york! i'm in cheap, yummy, chocolate heaven!!)


and oh yes, did i mention that i have the one and only big orange splot house in view from my window?

berlin graffiti/street art conquers once more!

the entirety of my view is actually splendid: the cute yellow berlin u-bahn (can a subway system be cute? well, this one is) runs just out to the right, behind the little park, but i'll wait for a full picture until the leaves have come out again. everything is still wintry branches here, despite the sunny skies :)



so ah yes, i am safely and happily installed. the title of my post refers to the fact that while unpacking i discovered a beautifully kind and thoughtful card tucked secretly into my suitcase by a former flatmate from new york that brought a little grateful tear to my eye, and then the kindness not only of toni (hallo, that goes without saying), but my two new flatmates here in berlin, with whom i hit it off immediately. they are easygoing, friendly, and generous. they have helped me feel instantly comfortable in my new home.

so in conclusion, leisurely mornings with tea and tulips and armchairs, snazzy new bundesliga fashion shows at my disposal, cheap yummy chocolate, lovely memories of new york life and happy beginnings with new friends in berlin. alles wird gut, tudo bem, tout va bien, and all is indeed right in the world.

zusammen.

at last in berlin! oh what relief and calm and happiness i have been met with. it was a coincidence that i came on Easter weekend, but what a happy one! toni took thursday off, and with friday and monday as holidays, we had a full 5 days to revel in the fact that we are at last together with no ending point in mind - this isn't a temporary visit with a return flight to dread in the near future. it's impossible to explain how wonderful this feels, and how happy i am - the trite words do such injustice to the overwhelming feelings...

but i did want to share with you a bit of our blissful weekend together: the Easter brunch toni and i enjoyed on Sunday between Catholic Easter masses and LDS Conference sessions - with a traditional, sweet, yeast-braided Osterbrot as the centerpiece, gorgeous and delish and made from scratch from the loving hands of both me and toni. have i ever mentioned how everything turns out better when toni and i are together? i have made many yeast breads from scratch in my time, but this one was far superior. i owe it all to our united and collaborative efforts :)

i will post more soon, with pictures of my beautiful, sunny room - which toni lovingly prepared for me, unpacking all the books and summer dresses i had sent with him when he visited new york in february, making my bed with new, fresh linens and placing a gorgeous full bouquet of sunny tulips on my new desk (you can see them transported to our brunch table above). have i mentioned how divine and kind and generous he is?... oh sigh, contentment! it's all i can feel - i am so blessed to be here and to have so much love in my life. hope you all had a beautiful Easter, earthquakes aside!

to everyone i send much love from bright and sunny berlin :)

strife and love

even when you know something is right, and are utterly calm and happy and UBER-excited about leaving for the airport in 1 hour, there is of course still a corresponding, very palpable element of sadness...

like when you see said picture:




or have several last lovely hurrahs with wonderful friends around the city, or receive incredibly kind and sincere statements of how you will be missed by friends, family, bosses...

and you know you really will be very, very far away from them all.

so just fyi, i'll miss everyone too oh so so much.


thanks for all the kindness and support,
see you in berlin!,

much love,

jooj.

at the end of my current unicef chapter, a few final thoughts on this bizarre world of international development

i'm staring down my last 2 days here at unicef house on 44th street in manhattan - with a meeting this afternoon on "can MDGs [millennium development goals] be achieved without greater equity?" and tomorrow a grand meeting of all unicef's hoi-poloi to finalize the organization's plan for haiti reconstruction before the SUPER grand meeting of the whole united nations on the same topic later on in the week.

all these technical updates/meetings/workshops i've been able to attend this last year have been by far the best aspect of my job at unicef - i would have never had access to such high-level discussions before, seeing how things actually work, how development theory is debated and put into practice by a UN agency. i have written on these topics again and again on this poor little blog from my desk here, venting frustration or bursts of thought that i can no longer channel into term papers or essays. so in the spirit of ending this chapter of my life, let me summarize what i've learned (if any of you care to take a gander at this LONG LONG post):



you see, i read this really interesting article, which discusses Harvard professor Lant Pritchett's ideas of how the aid industry/development world is like a piano recital: there are a lot of bad performances you have to sit through, but those mediocrities ultimately allow piano geniuses to rise up and shine. so, the point is that a lot of international development work is really ineffective, but that is to say it isn't all worthless, as certain stellar ideas and projects do build off the lessons learned from the mediocrity and ultimately do something worthwhile and brilliant.

now this is potentially problematic to me for many reasons, but also a really good way to describe what i saw at unicef: there is a whole heap-load of bureaucratic machinery going on in this building, and also in the UNDP building across the street. there are thousands of employees working in these two agencies alone (not to mention USAID, CIDA, SIDA, WFP, WHO, DFID, I could go on...), many of whom do nothing but perpetuate said-machinery. which is very disheartening. BUT it is as Pritchett says: there really are certain pockets of brilliance hidden amidst all that.

one such is unicef's support of the senegalese-based NGO, TOSTAN. a few weeks ago, the founder of TOSTAN came to unicef offices, along with marietou diarra, a woman from rural senegal who went through a TOSTAN-run community women's empowerment programme and has since become a prominent and incredibly effective anti-female genital cutting (FGC) advocate in the country. she lost 2 young daughters to the procedure, and now travels around from village to village, opening up the dialogue with other women (and men) on what their experiences have been with FGC, and why this tradition persists, despite the universal health risks and damage it inflicts on women and young girls.

marietou is part of a legion of women TOSTAN has educated and now supports as grassroots advocates, and through their efforts, an estimated 85% of villages in senegal have now abandoned female genital cutting.

85%.

this is utterly astounding. listening to marietou speak and weep as she told of her experience and how her life has dramatically improved was so empowering and invigorating that i was able to say, yes, aid and international development do in a certain sense work - but just like Pritchett says, it works at the same time that a vast hoarde of failed efforts go forward.

the problem is getting rid of all those failed efforts, streamlining the bureaucratic machinery: because honestly, is it all really necessary? but then again, with the frailty inherent in human functions, i doubt it is possible that every development effort will end up like TOSTAN. nothing in life works that way. and yet! why do so many continue to sit comfortably or complacently as cogs in these development wheels? we all (people who work in this field, that is) need to be much more vigilant in ensuring that we cut out the chaff and lift up those organizations or individuals who have real potential to alleviate suffering and institute sustainable change towards poverty reduction. (viz. people like marietou diarra.)

and there you have it, a year at unicef distilled into one blogpost. i could keep going on and write a novel about it all, really. and if i keep going this post will soon be one. so! if you're intersted/curious and would like to discuss more, let's please skype whilst i'm in berlin.

otherwise, FIN.

overheard

i was in the met tonight, admiring a particularly fine turner, when all of a sudden a man approached me and said, with no preface whatsoever,

"are you german?"



HA. i take it as a good omen :)

why moms are the best.

1. they march through soho to pearl river while you're at work to scout out some new lovely chinese hair-sticks (to make lovely buns) for their daughter. (also picking up some posh pink baby fabric for their really cute granddaughter.)

2. they don't complain when they have to sleep on a very cheap, small bed with very cheap pillows in a noisy harlem apartment.

3. they buy levain cookies for you for breakfast everyday.

4. they will trek all over the city with you just so you can have almondine macarons and dokebi soondubu jigaes one last time before leaving the city.

5. they take you to movies you didn't see because you've been saving all your pennies for berlin.

6. they insist you go to the frick to visit sir thomas more.

7. they lug 3 boxes of books with you to the post office to ship off to utah, and will then pick said boxes up from maggie's house and lug them up to sundance.

8. in addition to all that lugging, they take a big rolling suitcase back with them all the way on the A train and airtrain and jet blue flight.

9. they are incredibly supportive of your somewhat mad decision to give up life and job in new york to move to berlin.

10. and why dads are the best: they work really hard so we can have all that fun and eat all those levain cookies. and call every night and are very comforting and loving.

i am so grateful for my parents. they are the best. can't wait until they come to berlin and visit me (and nefertiti) in june :)

love you!

it's really happening folks

i now have an official room in an official berlin apartment with my absolute FAVORITE official berlin graffiti on it. !!!
see?:




only in berlin do you get to live in an apartment building with a HUGE astronaut painted on the side. and my room overlooks the park pictured here. LOADS better than the gray, noisy apartment well i gaze onto now.

and with a room twice as big for half the rent?
with a washing machine in the apartment?
with heinrichplatz and all its kreuzberg cafe goodness below?
and with dear toni less than 10 minutes away?!

oh heavens i'm ready to go yesterday.*
hu-zzah indeed :)

*no i take that back: i'm ready to go wednesday afternoon, right after mom leaves. it's positively wonderful having her here. i love you mom :)

if you'd like to know what it's like to go to oxford,

do listen to this, the annual isaiah berlin lecture at st antony's college, podcast on itunes u.

just finished listening and oh oh oh the nostalgia... i laughed so hard in the first 5 minutes... the posh accents, the name dropping, allusions to colleges and college suppers, quotes in latin, personal relationships to intellectual powerhouses dropped in anecdotes, insanely diffused semantic discussions.

oh oxford! how bizarre and unique you are! such a dying, removed world it seems. and yet! how impatient i am to go back. i mean look:

this is where i cycled daily:

this is where i could have dinner with friends on an average evening:

under this dome is where i studied:

and this cape-like thing is what i wore on a regular basis to dinners and exams:

I MEAN REALLY.

there were extra cornbread muffins from a seminar this morning

and i wish i could have spread the bounty to all of you, because they were amazing, and because you are amazing, so yes, naturally perfect pairing.

but honestly, thank you for all your kind words. heavens! they were so so lovely to read. i do have trouble with the insane narcissism of this blog, but so happy that it provides such an easy way to connect to so many dear ones who are much too far away.

so thank you all. just so you know, it is just as leslie wrote, that the right decision is the one you are at peace with. and both toni and i are quite at peace with this one. it is only when i stare at the other possibilities (i.e. staying and working here on previously-explained awesome job) that i get very tumultuous and doubtful inside and i question everything and end up feeling awful. when i remember that i am going to berlin, that i will in fact be able to eat ice cream with toni everyday, i feel very warm. so in 3 weeks time, that is exactly what i'll be doing. unemployed, attempting to learn german, eating ice cream, and hugging toni. not half bad if you ask me :)

and to move on to other things that don't involve me,

lincoln and mimi are having a boy!!! the gender ratio in our family is getting all off! but i love the thought of these 3 new little cousins growing up to be best friends. yay for cuddly baby boys :)

ali is awesome and getting involved in the grassroots effort to change sex offender laws in california after the awful chelsea king murder which happened near her home in san diego. read her blog and email Assemblymember.Fletcher@outreach.assembly.ca.gov to get on a mailing list if you'd like to be more involved. (btw, ali also got into YALE. yes, she is that amazing.)

oh, and stella has really really cute feet, in case you forgot :)


much love to you all,
jooj.