post-election aftermath

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

thoughtfulness

i am so struck at how thoughtful people can be. yesterday was my birthday, and i was so touched by all of the well-wishes and kind gestures extended! i heard from friends i haven't spoken to in years, and i love to see how people can reach out to each other, even in the smallest way.


such dialog between individuals is just as beautiful as the fall colors around my house right now. i took these pictures yesterday, and honestly - gorgeous, no?

some patriotism for election day

or if you're feeling patriotically german....

new blog!

huzzah! the project i used to work for at BYU, the WomanStats Database, with the ever-incredible dr. valerie hudson, has started a blog!

check in for incredible information about the way women are treated around the world. some of it will truly astound you, in both good and bad ways.

from "waking life"

"there are two kinds of sufferers in the world: those who suffer from a lack of life, and those who suffer from an overabundance of life. i've always found myself in the second category."

or to complicate it further, perhaps i'd consider myself as one who fears the former, and doesn't entirely understand what to do when confronted with the latter.

also

"the trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. because, if you can do that, you can do anything."

yes. exactly.

exhibitionism

isn't it incredible how many people in the last months have started blogs? they are such a bizarre form of communication, or self-expression.... i fear sometimes that in constantly turning around and re-telling our lives, we lose some of the power of lived moments for what they are. it's like mom always used to say "don't be a slave to your camera" - not living the moment through your eyes but trying to just capture it in an artificial form... how often are we slaves of the idea of possible future story-telling? i don't think that all blogs are simply about exhibitionist self-absorption, but the boundaries between private and public have never been so blurred... i am still so surprised when people say "oh yes, i saw that on your blog" - but then again, why write a blogpost if you have no intention of anyone seeing it?

at the met this week there was an exhibit of the work of giorgio morandi, a reclusive italian modernist painter whose work i greatly admire. at one point he said:

"[compared to other italian artists of my generation], i was still left in peace, perhaps because i demanded so little recognition. my privacy was thus my protection, and in the eyes of the grand inquisitors of italian art, i remained, but a provincial professor of etching at the fine arts academy of bologna."

do blogs immediately make us all great demanders of recognition? and sometimes i wonder if i'd prefer to be more protected in my privacy.

oh well :) ultimately i'm happy that because of blogs, i can see this. and this. :)

il y a un an

i've been thinking of year-marks, where i was a year ago, 5 years ago etc etc.... it seems fall is always when major things happen for me in my life - ali says it's because it's when the school year starts. probably true :)

but i go to new york tomorrow (!!!). it was a little over a year ago that i was there last - august 2007 with dear sara, now on her mission in texas. i love this picture of us with ali outside the Met. such beautiful memories!

see you all in a week.

it's all too much

you know that beatles song on the yellow submarine album? the tone and feel of that song are so entirely à propos at so many points in my life. i love the line "show me that i'm everywhere and get me home for tea." :) brilliant paradox, in feeling absolutely everything at once, seeing objects and experiencing moments where you simply burst with feeling and yet you remain beautifully, peacefully, in the quotidien. (do we have that word in english? we should.) it's similar to one of my favorite (and oft-quoted if you get into conversation with me) lines of literature ever:

"one wanted, she thought, dipping her brush deliberately, to be on a level with ordinary experience, to feel simply that’s a chair, that’s a table, and yet at the same time, it’s a miracle, it’s an ecstasy." (virginia woolf, "to the lighthouse")

my life in DC is coming together: pieces are falling into place and i feel like this last week was my first proper week of "living" here. it made me very happy, and i feel more grateful than ever to be where i am. driving across the key bridge today into georgetown, with the monuments to my right, the gorgeous fall trees spilling into the potomac to the left... i was quite awestruck at how beautiful it is here... how much is happening around me and how grateful i am to be in the midst of life... i want to make a list of things which have particularly struck me this week, things which make me happy, contented and overwhelmed with gratitude...

1. beautiful music filled with joy: arvo part, lavender diamond (and ali for introducing me), fleet foxes (and toni for also making this introduction)
2. my access to a car (mom and dad for making that possible through tireless efforts...), a bike, and a metro - i've never been so mobile
3. W;t (please do anything you can to watch this - i must dedicate a full post to it at some point when i'm more prepared, or even know how to process my feelings after watching it into words... and xarissa, who introduced me to it)
4. the UNFPA and Johns Hopkins for hiring me on this amazing fistula project
5. wordreference.com for helping me in countless ways while i've been translating this insanely large document into french for the project listed in #4
6. mr. yogato, also for hiring me - it's a source of lighthearted fun in days otherwise filled with research and translation work for other jobs... it helps me pay for utilities and rent and gets me to the lovely DC area of dupont circle nearly everyday
7. skype, for making distances feel less extreme
8. faith, for bringing perspective
9. oxford, for giving me so much last year, and for their consistent willingness to take me back
10. green-templeton college at oxford, who has generous doctoral studentships for students in the history of medicine which could help me get back fully funded
11. dr. dave anderson, my professor at oxford, for telling me this in an email a few days ago
12. the national gallery, for being so close - just knowing it's there across the river brings unmeasured comfort
13. natalie, for being the kindest and most helpful housemate on the planet - tip to anyone who is moving to DC: try to move in with natalie, she will do everything to help you out
14. The New World: Extended Edition (as if it could get more beautiful)
15. perspective
16. EngenderHealth for inviting me to come to new york next week to discuss my fistula work
17. dear friends like steph who live in manhattan and open their doors to me
18. memory
19. possibility
20. trader joe's banana, flattened

and everything
everything
everything

that make up days upon days... that make life at once so normal and approachable - so banal and ordinary, and simultaneously so precious and overwhelming that i'm forced to admit "it's all too much." my life really isn’t that glamorous, but i’m quite grateful for the simplicity. i like to feel peaceful and at home in the everyday, not try to escape.

my first love

molly sent me the most incredible package in the mail this week: a photo shoot of dhani harrison from "fashion rocks."

i hope when i return to oxford in 2 years he still lives nearby... is he not so completely dreamy? i admit i'm disappointed i didn't meet him last year, but can keep hope for our future... :)

(and do read the quote at the bottom of the photo on the left. amazing.)

where i live

after returning from the west coast, i promptly preceded to make something of my little living space in arlington, virginia. i thought i'd post some photos... mostly for mom, les and steph as they are probs the only ones who care :)... eh voila:

my house from the street, built in 1939. (so many trees right around! and still just 10 minutes from the city!)

hallway opening up into my (very small) room (which i love) (i like quaint, little spaces.. it's all you need, right?)


and my room, from one angle and then the other. the pics on the wall are my own which i had printed out - except the large eiffel tower canvas which i bought :) you know how i love the aesthetics of winter trees. and paris. so of course i snatched it up immediately.

i'm standing right at the end wall of my room trying to take the photos, which explains their awkward closeness... haha, the room is just a bit too small to get wide-sweeping-interior shots! it's perfect :)

also, i must say that i've really become aware of how important it is to feel at home in your space, to feel it is your own. last year i lived in college accommodation at oxford and could do nothing really to the hideous furniture, dingy carpet, and blank walls. it was never an inviting or comforting place to be - but at least i did have the whole city of oxford to spill out into :) now that i'm in DC and trying so hard to be settled here, i really felt it was critical to feel some part of myself in the physical environment of DC... i want to feel comfortable and make some semblance of a home for myself. i think in this sense it's then easier to not miss what i left... :)